Only Asami
by Zainy18
Summary: Aki has a secret that he is keeping from Asami. Can Asami get to the bottom of it? Knowing Asami like we do what do you think? Read and review because you will like where it goes; if you encourge the writer by reviewing. WARNING: Dark FIC.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my sanity at the moment. YAMANE AYANO is the owner of  
Warning: Flashback, hint of child abuse and OCC

As the water beat down upon his head Akihito closed his eyes and scrubbed his skin harder and harder.

Why was he remembering this now?

He was 23 not some God damn kid.

He had locked those memories away, far away and thrown away the key. How dare they manifest themselves like that? To say that he was embarrassed was an understatement.

**_Flash back_**

Asami rolled Akihito unto his back and peered down at his cute young lover.

Something was definitely up. It was the third night in a row that he had fuck the photographer into a state of sweet unconscious (he assumed it was a blissful state that the photographer was in because the last thing Akihito scream was his first name before his beautiful eye lashes fluttered close and locked away those gorgeous heady hazel eyes).

Taking in Akihito's tear stain cheeks, his fretful whimpers and his now frantic breathing Asami was at a lost to what had triggered his pet latest nightmare. He robbed his back, and whispered

"Come back Akihito" "come back to me- Asami-, I am right beside you and nothing will harm you my pet"

Akihito awoke

Eyes wide open, pupils dilated, sobbing harshly and hoarsely, his voice was pleading words in a soft childish manner

" I ...have been a good boy ...please no, no no more ...no more, I ...I ...did all what you said. Aki has been a good boy... so PL...ESEEEEEEEEEE NO MORE!"

Asami knew his photographer had not yet come back to him. Trapped in his nightmare, Asami did the only thing that he thought would dispel Akihito's trance.

Asami gently rested both hands on Akihito's neck , slowly guided his right hand into the back of his lover sweat dampen head, fusing his fingers into his mate hair and with deliberate patience brought Akihito quivering lips to his. Without demand and using no force he let his lips touch Akihito's soft firm closed pouted mouth. While his left hand steadied the boy's back.

Past experience had taught him Akihito needed familiarity to bring him back, the boy's mind needed to know that he was now a young man. That if he said no to others nothing and no one could force him to comply. He needed to know he was home, in their bed and that Asami is his anchor.

Akihito's lips slowly relaxed his cute and frightened pout, dissipated and his sweet pink tongue hesitantly left his mouth and seek out Asami's. Upon contact with Asami's lip he was given immediate access. Asami parted his lips and allowed Akihito to drive them in whatever direction he wanted and need the kiss to go. It was a challenge for Asami not to take the reins when Akihito greedily and impatiently suck at Asami's tongue and lips, while his young lover dug his body into Asami's arms begging for a reminder of where he was and who he belong to.

After a couple of minutes his lover impatient movements abruptly stopped, his entire body went limp and he slid down Asami's torso curled up into the man's lap and fell asleep once more. With both arms fastened tightly and wrapped around Asami's waist, his kitten began to breathe easily.

Asami watch his Akihito sleep and thought I will find the one who hurt you and I will kill them for putting that look in your eyes.

Knowing he would not be able to sleep any longer Asami quietly tried to shift his young lover into the pile of blankets on their bed without waking him, he failed. Akihito slowly at first uncurled himself and peeked through his left eye as if confirming his surroundings before he attempted anything more daring.

Asami watched with keen eyes assessing every detail of his lover's behaviour, when he was sure his lover was up he said

"Don't you trust me with your nightmares Akihito?"  
Akihito shuddered and quickly rolled off Asami, only presenting his back to him.

He had the vague sensation that he had shared something physically and psychologically personal with Asami and now he felt trap. He would not go digging up buried graved so others-Asami- could get answers. He would deny it all regardless of the consequences.

"Akihito there isn't anything for you to feel ashamed or frightened of you can tell me anything"

Asami remarks was hitting a sensitive nerve

Akihito closed his eyes and counted to ten, in his mind.

1, breathe, 2, breathe, 3

"Akihito"

4, breathe, 5, breathe, 6

"Akihito ... I only want to help you baby"

God dammit 78910.

"YOU CAN'T HELP ME NO ONE CAN JUST DROP IT." Realising he had been shouting Akihito drop his tone to a mere whisper "please Asami just lea..."

"I will not" Asami tone was matter of fact he knew the issue would not be dropped.

Akihito finally turned around and faced Asami. Tears soundlessly trickled down his cheeks and fell onto the bed. His voice surprisingly firm and mono tone, accusatory and yet begging for understanding.

"You weren't there, I was. You don't know what I had to endure. I had no one then. I need no one now. I survived. I am a survivor. No one will ever break me."

Asami 's gaze never left Akihito's face, and what he saw made him want to reach out and hold Akihito down while he poured out and showered him with love, comfort and security that no one and nothing would hurt him again.

As Asami reached for his lover he said, "Akihito I understand..."

"YOU UNDERSTAND NOTHING, YOU CAN'T " Akihito screamed and ran to the bathroom and shut the door.

_**End of Flash back**_

Turning off the shower, Akihito wrapped himself in Asami's towel and knelt on the bathroom floor. How could he face Asami now? He was ashamed of his behaviour. He never wanted the man to see him that weak.

Asami would never think of him as an equal now. He was convinced that it was all his fault and he had fall in Asami's esteem.

He wanted the ground to open up and drag him away- to hell even –as long as he didn't have to face Asami he mused. So wrapped up in his thoughts on how to escape the inevitable by avoiding the unavoidable, the immovable entity that was his Asami. Akihito didn't hear Asami open the second door to their master bathroom. He didn't hear Asami approach and knelt behind him.

He did register however that it was Asami's arms that held him. It was Asami's hand that combed the damp hair on his head. It was Asami's smell that was invading his nostrils. It was Asami's body that he was turning into. It was Asami that he had wrapped his legs around. It was Asami that he had let pick him off the bathroom floor and carry him into their bedroom. It was ASAMI. And he wanted it to be only Asami he realised.

Could he share his nightmares with this man? He may not have said it out loud as yet, but he was in love with this man. Minus his first lesson it was this man who had taught him how to love indirectly of course.

Akihito took a deep breath "Asami I want to tell you everything."

A/N: Yeah this is just chapter 1. If you like review else we might never see chapter. I might decide to not update it for yearssssssssssss. lol


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning: Implied Child rape, violence, some OOC, this gets dark guys so if you can't stomach this chapter don't read anymore.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own.**

Akihito took a deep breath "Asami I want to tell you everything."

Asami was so surprised that his lover had a change of heart that he had halted in his task at drying off his lover. Weighing the situation carefully, he knew that he had to listen without interruptions to what Akihito had to say; he gave his final words of encouragement.

"Akihito, I would like to hear what happened to you but I only want to know when you are ready for me to know and not before."

"I am ready Asami and I need you to..." the young man's voice became choked up and as he swallowed the lump in his throat the tears that he thought he had banish glistened in his hazel eyes and he had to wipe them away before continuing.

"... I am so sorry I am so sorry, I never meant to lie to you and keep things from you but I am scared Asami, I ...I am scared that when you find out what I have been keeping from you, you will send me away and besides... I ..." the young man paused in his attempt at revelation of the truth when his voice began to tremble.

Asami was about to deny any such action or reaction against his kitten but the pain sketched on Akihito's face stopped him and he gently rubbed circles on his lover's back to comfort him while he silently listened on.

"...I guess... I am... I must have said something while I was asleep. Besides I know you Asami, I know if I don't tell you, you will go "looking" for answers. I would rather not have your goons digging up in my past even if it is to satisfy your curiosity."

Somewhat disappointed that his boy would think he would handle the matter with anything less than delicate care and tasteful tact Asami had to say what he was feeling, "Akihito it has been over a month since you have been having these nightmares, tonight they somewhat escalated. As _**my**_ lover anything that could potentially disrupt your happiness is my concern. As _**your**_ lover it is my duty to protect you from, present, future and past dangers."

Asami griped Akihito's chin and brought his lips down on his lover's pouring out only reassurance and comfort, when he withdrew he said, "You can trust me."

"I killed my brother."

"I, me, no one else killed my twin brother"

Knowing that there was more to the abrupt confession, Asami continued to cradle Akihito in his right arm while he brought his left hand up and down Akihito arm, giving the young man his warmth.

Borrowing his cheek into Asami's chest Akihito went on.

_**Takaba Recounts**_

"_**It was the cherry blossom festival. It was only 3 months away from our 7**__**th**__** birthday day and I really wanted to attend the festival that year so I begged our parents, but my dad had to work out of town and my mom didn't like crowds so we were told next year for sure."**_

"_**I was so disappointed, I became determined that no matter what I was going. I could never hide anything from my older brother, Akito. I think it was a twin thing because he already knew that we would be going and pretended way better than myself that he was okay with our parent's decision.**_

_**The day before the Yaedake Cherry Blossom Festival, Akito surprised me with matching blue kimonos. He said mom bought them for us for the following year and if we left Okinawa and hour early before Mom was due home, we would have enough time to replace them before she knew they were missing."**_

"_**I still remember the hurt in my mom's eyes when she left that morning for work and I refused to hug her and so did Akito, we always displayed a united front against our parents. She left with the promise she would make it up to us. **_

"_**We lived a mile from Okinawa so the train that ran near our house was ideally how we planned to get to and from the festival. I don't think either of us factored in any kind of trouble arising, the most trouble I fore saw us getting into, was our mom discovering that we had found the kimonos.**_

_**The cherry blossoms was so beautiful and there was so many people all dressed in vibrant shade of colours, radiant reds, black blues and royal purple kimonos I think that's how it all went wrong. When we remembered that we weren't meant to be there it was 2 hrs after curfew. I was so shocked, I was the one who was in charge of keeping time so when I told my brother we were two hours late we both were speechless for a second or two. Akito grabbed my hand and we ran so fast that I was sure we were flying and nothing and no one could touch us. We would make it back home in time, safe I convinced myself."**_

"_**When we got to the train station, it was pack with people we barely managed to get on. We were squished together cheek to cheek and I remembered looking into my brother's sea green eyes with what I thought was fear and I remember him kissing my cheek twice and holding onto me tighter as he said "Aki don't worry we will be home in 10 minutes, mom and dad will be so glad we are home we won't get into any trouble."**_

"_**When the train stopped we got off and made our way to the public toilets to change out of our Kimonos and started working on our cover story. As we changed we agreed to say that we had ran away but then we got hungry and decided to come back for some food. I think in addition to being the older, Akito we smarter than me. He thought about things that I never even considered. He was stronger than me, braver and went that man came out of nowhere he fought so hard while I just froze."**_

_**We were both coming out of the stall we had been in and a man in a black kimono was at the entrance when we open the toilet door. I didn't think anything of it; that he was probably waiting for us to get out so he could go in.**_

"_**I remember saying sorry as we past him and then Akito was pushing me and screaming run Aki run."**_

"_**The man picked me up and my feet couldn't touch the ground and there was nothing to hold on to, and I couldn't see anything except the single light on the ceiling."**_

"_**Asami I froze."**_

"_**I just froze I dint cry, I didn't scream, I didn't fight, I did nothing. All the while my brother fought for us both, and I did nothing." **_

"_**I don't know why the man had decided to drop me but he did and then I could see my brother, I heard him Asami, I could hear him saying words they just weren't registering."**_

"_**He was crying at this point but he was still fighting."**_

"_**He was saying, screaming things like "leave me alone, don't touch my ni-san and Aki please run, get papa."**_

"_**Then there were no more words there were just exhausted grunts and pleas and hiccups."**_

"_**That man he had forced my brother over the toilet, my brother's pants were around his ankles and the man was ... He was... trying to force himself in...in"**_

"_**And my feet started to finally spasm and I was up, Asami I got up and I tried to run for the door, I just wanted papa, all I could think was If I could just make it home daddy would make him stop hurting my brother."**_

_**And then he spoke for the first time, or maybe it was the first time I actually heard him speak, he said in this really wheezy voice "If you leave here I will kill him, I will kill your ni-san and then I will find you and your papa and I will kill you also."**_

"_**Akito had bitten the man's hand that was over his mouth at this point and he begged me in this really small tired voice to run and get papa please."**_

"_**The man at this point had slam my brother's head into the toilet seat really hard and there was blood, not enough to kill him I suppose looking back now, but it was the most blood I had ever seen. I was so scared he was dying already.**_

_**Then the guy spoke again to me, Asami, his eyes were so black but red at the same time he said "Aki is that your name? Be a good boy and don't move, if you move you will leave me with no choice but to kill your brother. And it will be your entire fault. It will be your fault Aki that he's dead."**_

_**Asami I didn't know what to do and the man got up and then my brother opened his eyes, he looked at me Asami and there was so much blood all over his face and in his mouth and he smiled at me and he said "Aki go get papa, I will stay here and hold him off."**_

"_**I ... I ... I ran Asami, I ran home, but by the time me and papa got back he wasn't there. He wasn't there Asami. My dad was crying because all we found was the kimonos and blood. But he wasn't there."**_

"_**My parents didn't have to say it I knew it, I killed him, I killed Akito."**_

_**End of Akihito's Recount **_

Asami had listened. He had listened in a sort of detached way as his lover recollected what was no doubt the most traumatic, life changing event in his life to date.

Asami had held on tight as his Akihito had blame himself, his 6 year old self for something that was out of his power. Asami found himself aching for not just a chibi- Akihito but a child name Akito as well.

As Akihito cried and cried until he drenched Asami's shirt with his tears, Asami had already made a mental note of locations, time, dates and he silently promise to make this _**right**_ for Akihito.

It had been 20 minutes already and Asami assumed from the dead weight in his arms, that Akihito had cried himself to sleep once again. The crime lord subtly shifted his lover out of arms into a more comfortable position on their bed, when the young man shuddered; Asami knew he couldn't leave him alone.

He wanted to be their when his lover woke up again, he wanted to prove his loyalty to Akihito and he wanted to show him, he was still loved and needed and nothing had change in that respect. He knew his kitten pretty well if left alone and given the chance Akihito would run.

Brushing the damp hair out of the photographer's wet closed eyes, Asami lean down and softly kiss the swollen skin. As if sensing Asami's comfort Akihito curled up to his golden eyes rescuer's chest and snored cutely.

As Asami looked on at his sleeping lover, he thought to himself. _"I have caused you so much pain; you have suffered so much because of me. You have been raped, kidnapped, choked and somehow how you have managed to always carry on. You have this amazing sense of duty and right from wrong; I don't understand you kitten, how can you think you are to blame for his death? How? "_

Asami buried his nosed into the photographer's neck and inhaled. When he retracted his face from his lover's neck he brought his lips to the boy's ears and he whispered his pledge

"He will know your pain, even if I have to go to hell to find him, he will know your pain."

As if sensing the unholy aura that Asami was radiating Takaba whimpered and cuddled further into Asami.

"SHH, Shh kitten it will be okay, I will make it okay Shh, go to sleep baby."

As one lover slept on, the other remained awake, naturally calculating and contemplating his next move, according to Kei they were due for another branch expansion, Okinawa seem like the ideal setting. Sixteen years too late for some, but this would be just like any other challenge for Asami, except it was _personal_.

A/N: No beta, so grammar mistakes.

Review let me know what you think.

I actually got this idea when my best friend's brother who is 5 ran away from home to the shop right around the corner, but was like there for 6 hr and the entire family was convinced he was kidnap it was pure chaos. He was very much fine in the end and put on house arrest afterwards.


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